Heated Debate Over Dealing with Wrongful Restraining Orders

In the interest of saving time and opening up the conversation to others who may want to chime in, I have taken the liberty to cut and paste a heated response I wrote months ago. It reflects my philosophical differences with another person in the debate.


I am only going to say this only a couple more times only because I have one foot out the door on this website. I refuse to keeping spinning my wheels. And I am not going to expend unnecessary energy debating you endlessly. The time it takes to write my responses I greatly value and it takes me away from other things I can write about or spend time on. I am not going to piss it away on someone who wants to endlessly debate some of these irrelevant issues.

1. I like you. I think you are a nice guy. I think you are a good guy. I think you are well-intended guy and largely a gentle soul who tries to be respectful to others.

2. I respect you as an intelligent person, writer, and creator of this website. I derived great benefit from stumbling onto your website last year. I even made a small financial contribution last year. You created goodwill with me and, hence, I have popped in now and then trying to be a quality contributor and give your case some public attention and exposure.

3. I am an unconventional, unorthodox friend and ally. It is both a curse and blessing. I think you were greatly wronged and believe it or not I understand many points you make and sympathetic to many of them.

However, going forward, you need to keep these three points in mind because I am not holding back anymore. If your or anyone's feelings get hurt, that is not my responsibility. You can delete me or ask me to leave at anytime. My time is too precious and I am not into causing myself brain damage trying to be part of a situation where I am fighting an uphill battle. Life is too short. I don't have any skin in this game and I have offered more information and insight than most contributors I have seen come through here.

I don't pretend to be an angel or saint but I try to do right by others up to a certain point. I don't have an endless source of patience, "sensitivity", or political correctness. I have learned that not everyone operates similarly. I have adjusted my ways and my eyes are generally wide open. And yes, that means me taking, claiming, and using whatever personal power I have in a way I choose.

You may have a background in journalism and expressive writing but (respectfully) that means little to me because I have a proven track record of reporting and exposing on stories in an impactful way read by thousands of people while being a relatively unknown person. And people seem to understand my "expressiveness" just fine. There are many talented writers and editors who have English majors but I am one of many people who go on to become authors, publishers, thought leaders, community leaders, entrepreneurs, etc. I HIRE these writers and editors to WORK FOR ME. They generally work for peanuts.

If you want to call that "arrogance" that is your right. I call it self-confidence, knowing how to get things done, and making things happen. I don't often talk about my academic background but I have an MBA and I am no dummy. I don't talk about such things because I focus on making a difference and making an impact.

If you want to argue philosophy, how you been wronged, argue your position, and everything that is important to you and YET spin your wheels, continue to be victimized, and go nowhere. I have ZERO interest in that. If you want to argue for being naive and how you are ENTITLED to your power vs. claiming it, you are very much on your own. And that is why you will continue to be kicked and treated like a stray dog by your adversaries for the rest of your days.


  • Here is another response I wrote to another participant along a similar vein.

    I believe I know more about his case and his overall situation than most people here. I have exchanged emails and have had a few phone conversations with him this past year. I have studied his case and situation more than any lawyer has. I also have some insight into his personal situation and the background of his adversary.

    I don’t have a dog in this fight but I do have sense of gratitude for him and his website and that is why I occasionally offer my comments. I am largely tangential to the core issues discussed here because, unlike most people here, I was never in any kind of personal relationship with my accuser or had any communications with her. And when I have had failed relationships, I generally just get the fuck out. I don’t stay around where I am not wanted. Or when I get a sense of a crazy, nutjob, I get the fuck out quickly.

    He has all the power here. If he wants to delete any of my “disagreeable” posts or disregard me, that is entirely his choice but my intentions are honorable. In fact, if he wants me to NOT participate anymore, all he has to do is give the word and I can be gone. But then he would have burned me as a resource and I will go somewhere else. My time is extremely valuable and I have to make my points strongly. No one has to agree with me and I have nothing to prove to anyone here but I am trying to do a small part to improve people’s lives here. I know what the fuck I am talking about and I know how to win and get things done.

    As I stated before, I could give a recipe book but then people would say it isn’t pertinent or relevant to them. But I know strategy. I am a strategist in both my business and personal life. I do not think ALL my advice will fit everyone. What I do think that EVERYONE seriously needs to adopt is an empowered mindset and out-of-the-box thinking. The problem with most people is that most victims are too much in the weeds and most people don’t want to get into the weeds. They are so much in the weeds, they cannot step back and objectively see the big picture.

    Most people think that having enough money to hire a lawyer will solve all the problems. That is not true. If you are clueless and get the wrong lawyer, you will absolutely get led astray and you will soon be parted with the money. Ask me how I know. I commend him for taking a stand and doing something. But he can do it the hard way or he can learn some “life hack” techniques from people more experienced to shortcut things and improve his quality of life in a serious way. But it won’t happen by itself and it requires a willingness to expand your mind and change.

    There is so much doom and gloom and a shortage of empowerment. What many people fail to see is that (for the most part) the problems being discussed here are first-world problems. You want tragedy or despair, I suggest people turn on the news and start considering how their life might be if they were born in North Korea, Syria, Iraq, Iran, Africa, Afghanistan, etc. That is something to be depressed about.

    The fact that anyone here lives in the U.S. AND has access to the Internet separates us from 90% of the world’s population that truly suffer in life in ways we cannot imagine. Having a restraining order in the U.S. beats being “normal” in the places I listed.
  • Matthew, you made a wise move in taking down all the comments which were enjoined by Columbus judge, Frank Jordan, even though his injunction was patently illegal and all the material on the ELI blog was protected by the First Amendment. Even the Hearse Song (LOL).

    I am sure you have talked about this with Oscar Michelen. If you hadn't taken down the material, you would have had a problem with the collateral bar rule. You are a fighter but you fight smart.

    That CB rule (although I hate it and view it as an atrocity) is one of the reasons why Roger Shuler of Alabama found himself in jail and could not get out until he removed a big chunk of his blog, The Legal Schnauzer, from the net. And he lost his appeal rights by not giving notice of appeal within the statutory time allotted. ACLU tried to help him but he had already crossed the collateral bar line. He didn't fight smart.
  • It is called being strategic but also picking and choosing your battles. And by complying, it made my audience and readership "victims" also. By complying, I also became the "victim" which helps in getting public support.

    To me, it wasn't worth the possibility of going to jail over and it made bigger news by "complying".
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